Struck

It took one second,
One heart beat,
One nod of your head.
You saw me after a year of silence,
Hands entwined with another man's,
You gave me a half-hearted smile,
While I notice your hand in her hand.

Us, watching the sunset,
Cuddling under a plaid blanket,
I remember it like yesterday,
And I am struck.
Because now as I stare,
The same arms that once protected me,
Are wrapped around another girl,
The same warmth that once made me feel loved,
Is the source of the smile on her face.

I am struck,
From the sudden pain in my chest.
I am struck,
For I never knew I still felt the same,
Until now that I'm looking at you again.
And I know from those eyes,
You feel the same as I am. 

The Silhouette

A shadow

A mystery to me

Him who does not have a face

A man whose touch I feel

While I'm asleep

Whispers and chuckles

I hear them clearly

Yet when I turn

A silhouette is all I see

Someone who does not exist

When my lids are wide open

A stranger in my dream

Could he be a lover from the future

Or a sign of illness

Or maybe a kind of longing

And dreaming is the only remedy. 

One drink at the club. That's all it takes these days.
No more sweet good night kisses or waking up to the smell of bacon.
No more icy hands entwined, bodies wrapped in a plaid blanket under the twinkling stars.
Or the sound of guitar strings strumming at night while he stares up at her as she memorizes the shape of his lips as he sang.

I am a bit saddened by the fact that I never heard people say, "I adore you".
Saddened that all I am left with are the words, "I love you".
Words that have become too vague or too meaningless.

My friends laugh when I sometimes get too cheesy. And sometimes I do too.
If they do it at me or with me, I'd never know.
But I like to care less and use my head for thinking instead.
Wonder really well if it's just me who's odd
Or has the world already just gone too shallow?

I dare you

Dye your hair purple,
Paint your lips green,
Break the mirror,
Never look at it again.
Scream until your throat hurts,
Dance until your chest burns.
Embrace the danger and fearlessness
Until you're finally limitless.

Disappoint everyone,
Your mother, your father,
Especially yourself.
Run away from the norm,
From all deemed acceptable,
Breathe and take off that stupid mask.
Let those tears fall down,
All the frustration out,
And that laugh brewing inside.

Make a stupid mistake,
Learn from that error.
Make another one.
And another.
And never stop.
Don't you ever dare to stop.

Take a chance,
A crazy second,
Then maybe,
Just a little,
You'd actually live,
And feel alive,
Even just for a while.

Screw You

She hates you for saying the worst things
At the best of times.
You look at her.
Say something funny,
Hurt her feelings,
Make her cry
In a cubicle with nobody's eyes.
You call it friendship.
She calls it bullshit.

She hates you for not seeing clearly.
For laughing genuinely
When really, she's not happy.
Minutes, days, months, went on.
And yet you remain to be clueless
Or heartless
As you continue to be numb
Or dumb.
She smiled only when you did
And die a little every time inside.

She hates you for making her feel.
Anger, a flutter in the chest, a tickle in her belly.
Things she never wanted to,
Things she never thought she ever would.
Hate you for making her feel again.
For that lit a fire,
A hope that has been forgotten long time ago.

Frustration. Confusion.
Until the mirror becomes a person,
Someone she talks to
Someone to tell honestly that
She hates you mostly because
As much as she wants to hate you,
She still can't help
But fall in love with you.

Possibilities

For as long as I could remember, I was never a believer of love at first sight. 

I always believed love has a process. I see friendship being the foundation only a fraction of it. Then there's trust, loyalty, honesty among the long list. And I cannot fathom how something as strong and as powerful as love could happen in a split second.

Still, I do wonder if one look could ever be enough...wonder about how long it really takes to fall in love with another person. The kind you can never fall out from. 

Is there an acquired length of time for two people in love to know each other before others would stop saying, "but you've just met"? To cancel out judgments?

Is there a mandatory number of days, weeks, or even years before the love between these people can be considered authentic? Something genuine?

That it isn't just simple attraction but a much profound emotion. Something that you couldn't put into words but only into actions. 

That it isn't just infatuation but an affection as deep as the oceans. As endless as the skies. A love so bright the sun would be jealous. 

There are 24 hours in a day. A length of time taken for granted by most. The amount of time one can pour into knowing another person in just one day. On the first day they saw each other. About his childhood dream. About her first nightmare. About the thing they both have in common. A total of 1,440 minutes that maybe, probably, is enough to ignite a spark.  

So maybe love at first sight can be slightly hard to happen.

Maybe something that is as foolish as it is magical will always just remain on the pages of a book.

But for now, I will try not to be a nonbeliever.

For the possibilities of life. And of love. 

After all, it is possible to learn more than a thousand things about one person in a day.

One thing for every minute of the day. 

Where are they

Where are the men who know of sacrifice? The ones who will walk on the side of the road. To protect you from unforeseen dangers. To surrender himself and keep you safe.

Where are the men who pick you up at your home? The one who also brings you back safely to the arms of your folks. Not the day after or at dawn. Those who respect your parents the same way you do if not more.

Where are the men who write on flower-scented papers? The one who expresses his raw emotions through words. Handwritten letters for the one he adores.

Where are the men who hold your hands? Gentle and firm at the same time. The one who is aware that women are not fragile but will seek to take care of you nonetheless.

Where are the men who make promises? Carved on a tree and kept forever. The one who struggles and yet continues to fight. For love. For you.

Where are the men who don't expect it on first dates? Or on the second. Even the third. Those who still believe it is a symbol of something else. Of something more.

Where are the men who still kisses on the hand? The one who shows admiration without aggression. Those who let their lips linger on your skin. To breathe in your scent. And leave your fingers with his.

Where are the men who look at you not as a woman? But more than flesh and bones. Those who do not look at all. But connects to you as his eyes pierce through your soul. Deep into your heart. To you as a whole.