Everyday I see people doing the same thing they did
yesterday—the same ones they will do tomorrow.
Then I woke up one morning, looked in the mirror, and stared back at
myself only to realize that I am one of them.
Some find comfort in routine. I find it terrifying. Wondering what if one day I wake up and found myself doing the exact same thing
I’ve been doing for the last five years or so.
Breathing but not living.
I have always feared not being able to live. To not do the
things my heart tells me to. Crazy insane ones kept hidden inside. Free of
judgment and conformity to society.
Like fitting my entire life in a bag on my back, leave the place of my roots, and
start my conquest to the unknown. To search for something no one could ever know. Only to come back when it feels like the one
left thing to do.
Having only a few months left before I turn 21, I knew I
have to take action. But could it be possible to have such fear and at the same time be scared of taking the first step against it?
Because right now I am torn. Or maybe. Just too fearful to
escape fear.